Mom has put her foot down; as of February 28th, she will no longer be able to offer me any type of financial assistance whatsoever. I can't blame her--she's been so far beyond "generous" that I feel like I should squelch my misery. See, once we get to the first of March, I will (barring a miracle) have to move home, sans CR, to Mom's basement. Aside from the normal unhappiness, I am entirely miserable because CR has, effectively, no place to go.Unless I can pull a job out of my tail, I may be losing more than my home.
I can assure you that if it comes, neither of us is going to take separation very well. I've redoubled my efforts to find a job, but it just seems like no one is calling. I'm running out of ideas for the short term; all the things I can do which would make us money are longer-term endeavors, like the book and the bakery. There's a little corner of my mind that's just about ready to try a grassroots, "everyone-send-a-penny-to-save-my-home" kind of fundraisers going...but we're not sympathetic enough. If I had an adorable baby, perhaps, or a basket of fluffy little kittens....but two couch-dwelling slackers hiding out and feeding into each other's major depressive disorder?? Not likely to make anyone open their pockets, ya know?
I keep telling myself that this is happening for a reason, and sometimes I'm okay with not knowing what that reason might be. The rest of the time, though, I think the reason is "I'm a failure, a waste of potential, a total loser, and I need that fact hammered home as forcefully as possible."
I sure could use that miracle right about now.....
Is there no way at all your Mom will change her mind about letting CR live there, too?
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed that she doesn't just let her prejudice get the better of her.
Love knows no color.