Itchy.

The Itch, which improved for several days, has returned. This is probably due to the allergist's prohibition: no antihistamines for three days before my appointment. As I was feeling utterly hideous anyway--to the point of taking two days off work and pretty much sleeping the clock around--I just said "to hell with it" and stopped taking everything. My body spent the better part of today kicking me very hard for it, including a barfing spell early in the morning as I was getting ready for my much-unloved Saturday work day. This was followed by queasy-icky-tummy for most of the rest of the day, which led me over to Walgreens for Sick Tummy Supplies: Pepto, Rolaids, 7-up, and animal crackers. The Pepto helped a little, but it was an uneasy truce. Finally, after I got home from work (Mom actually gave me a ride, and unlike most times she offers, I didn't object--it was that or a cab, because if the ride to work was any indication, I wasn't going to make it on the bus) and laid down for a little bit, normal processes resumed and, after a while, I felt much better. A couple hours later, I fixed myself some mac and cheese, which seems to be staying down all right, and since I don't feel queasy, my outlook on life is much improved. (Seriously, is there anything that can make you more instantly and more thoroughly unhappy than an upset stomach? I honestly think that someone could have come to me this afternoon and told me "Gladys, you've won the lottery, and furthermore, you will now be transported for the rest of your natural life to the mythic Island of Hot Men, Free Chocolate, and Cute Kittens" and I would have had a hard time registering any emotion.)

So now, there's just The Itch. I have nothing more to say about the Itch, other than that I really wish it would go away, ASAP, and nevermore return; other than that, however, I think I've said all there is to say on that topic. I can't wait til my allergist appointment, anyway. I'm very much NOT used to my body screwing with me to this degree--especially when it's not clearly an effect to a cause. Heroin withdrawal, I understood: You do A, and B comes of it. This latest episode of itch/misery/discomfort/whatever seems to have no cause-effect relationship that I can see; I've stopped all the possible causes I can think of, and yet the effect remains stalwart. I'll be greatly pleased if this turns out to be something stupid and easy that I just didn't think of...but I'm starting to think it won't.

Anyhow, Tuesday will have a dual distinction: both The Itch and The Dubya--nasty, long-term scrofulous annoyances both--will be rooted out, and the process of sending them on their way begun.

I have wrestled in my mind with the notion of going downtown for the Obama rally. The "For" side says "It's history in the making! You'll be able to tell someone else's grandkids about it someday!" The "Against" side says "Are you fecking KIDDING me? All those people? MILLIONS of them. Do you know what the buses will look like afterwards? And besides, we have to go to work Wednesday morning...do you really want to stay out til they call the results, and then stay around for the party? Also, all those PEOPLE. Nuh-uh. History happens on TV too, you know."

There's another concern I have, too, about this rally; almost too horrible to whisper about. For the first time in my adult life, I am actually afraid for a public figure. If anything happens...yes, I know, millions upon billions have been expended to make sure nothing happens. But...Things happen. And if they happen, a lot of people will die. I honestly believe that; if something goes wrong, 1968 will look like a practice run. The Rodney King riots will look like a day in the park. And I'm afraid that if the worst happens, a lot of people who know better, who in normal times would trust their neighbors no matter what their race, will forget what they know. If it comes to that, I'm in a bad place. But if it comes to that, I really don't know too many people who AREN'T in a bad place.

So, further disproving Tim's evaluation of my belief system: I'm praying it doesn't come to that. But it scares me, all the same.

Update: The Itchy and Scratchy Gladys Show

Thank heavens, the rash is leaving me.

This is probably due in part to the THREE major prescriptions I have been taking, plus handfuls of Benadryl and the occasional Advil just for kicks. I'm taking prednisone, Zantac (apparently there are histamines generated in the digestive tract? Who knew?), and some super-duper anti-itch medicine which doesn't seem to do much at all. I'm also completely off the Lexapro, and I have a referral to a dermatologist and one to an allergist as well. There are still a few itchy bits--mostly on my back where I absolutely CANNOT reach them without sacrificing every bit of dignity I've got--and on my belly, where also I cannot scratch with dignity. My legs look like I fought a table-saw and lost; my arms look like kindergarteners with red Magic Markers used them for a lesson in pointillism. But at least I can sit still for five minutes at a stretch, a blessing indeed.

I still don't believe for sure that it was the Lexapro, although I looked up "Lexapro side effects" and discovered that yes, "itchy rash" was on the list, along with almost every other physical complaint of mankind, and including lots of minor physical annoyances that I'd attributed to "tiredness" or "weight" or "drinking too much". So there's that... I hope whatever I end up on next won't have too many goofy outcomes associated with it. I certainly don't plan to go through THIS again!

Rash Acts

Have I mentioned AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ?

It's taken over. Everywhere EXCEPT my face, my hands, my head, and my girlybits are covered in hives. Little bitty grainy-looking hives, but hives. And holy FUCK, the itch.

Tuesday morning I just couldn't take it anymore and walked over to the Emergency Room. They fed me a couple of Benadryl, took my history, fed me a prednisone pill, and then spied on me from the other side of the curtain. After I had scratched myself silly for about ten minutes, an intern came in with a big whompin' needle and gave me a shot of Benadryl.

Let me tell you, intramuscular Benadryl? Has way more of a kick then heroin, my friends. I started feeling a little tingly, and within about two minutes I actually had to lay down on the gurney because the head-rush was so outrageous. I seriously thought I was going to pass out. But the itching had come to a FULL STOP.

Unfortunately, the de-itchification only lasted a couple of hours; the woozy groggy stoned feeling, on the other hand, lasted long enough for me to get to work and get told by my co-worker that I should go home. Normally that's not a suggestion I would take, and if it wouldn't have been for her watching me for the next three hours, I might have tried to stick it out, but: nah. I called the boss and left, and went home and slept like a rock.

Oh, yeah. The "diagnosis"? The ER doc seemed to think it was a drug reaction. I asked him which of my two meds was the culprit--methadone or Lexapro? He said "Methadone is basically non-allergenic, so I highly doubt that's it." Then he suggested I taper off on the Lexapro, told me to keep taking the Benadryl, and prescribed a week's worth of prednisone. Since my doc has already broached the subject of trying a different medication, I'm not heartbroken about the Lexapro--but I am confused. First off, I've been taking it for four months, and only NOW do I break out? And then, this rash seems to be in all the places my clothing comes in contact with skin, and none of the ones where it doesn't. I'm going to double-wash my clothes tomorrow, with no soap in the second go-around, and see if that helps. And Friday I'll go talk to my regular doc. (I also, while I was in the ER, ran past the doctor and nurses all the Really Bad Possibilities--diabetes, hypertension, liver failure, etc--and all of them said "HIGHLY unlikely." So there's that--we've at least narrowed down the problem somewhat.

But I still wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I REALLY hope it goes away soon.

More soon--right now there's some Benadryl with my name on it. (I should buy stock in the company--I'm certainly making them rich enough.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends, I am in serious trouble here.
I am about one nanosecond from a full-fledged attack of the Screaming Meemees.

You see, I have An Itch.

A couple of days ago...okay, closer now to a week, really...I noticed that my ankles and my lower calves were itchy. You know how, if you tie your shoes too tight and the socks kinda squish into your skin and when you take the shoes and socks off at the end of the day, the top of your foot itches like crazy for like, a minute?

Like that. Except to about midway up my calf, and not going away.
So I tried some lotion. Didn't help. Tried some other lotion. Didn't help. Tried not to scratch and fail, fail, FAAAAIIILLLED. In not-too-long a time, it looked like I was wearing reddish-purple mid-calf socks.

Then the itch started creeping northward.
I bought some hypoallergenic Eucerin lotion. I bought some hydrocortisone cream. I bought some Bactine, because by now I'd scratched a few spots so badly that Bactine seemed like a good idea. Ditto Neosporin. Nothing helped. Now the reddish-purple socks were at the knees, and my legs and ankles were swollen from the scratching.

That went on for a couple of days. Last night I noticed that the backs of my knees were itchy now. I took some Advil and some Benadryl, one or the other of which seemed to help. Today at work, though, EVERYTHING started itching. Legs, torso, arms, pits, back, EVERYTHING, the works. The parts not in the reddish-purple-knee-socks area look...distinctly...BITE-like.

I don't think I have bedbugs--where would I have got them? I haven't slept anywhere except my own bed for practically forever.
I don't think it's spiders....oh, fuck, I HOPE it isn't spiders! or ants, or mites, or....You know, I don't like this train of thought.
Fleas, maybe? except the kitterz aren't scratching, only me.
I haven't changed my soap or my detergent or my lotion or my shampoo or my ANYTHING. (Though I did buy some Ivory soap today, in case it's the Irish Spring that's doing it--but I've been using V05 shampoo for a hundred years and have never had any problems.) Seriously--there is NO REASON this should be happening right now.

And then I went to WebMD, and let me tell you: if you're ever faced with a seemingly-minor issue? DON'T go to WebMD. They will scare the undawares RIGHT OFF you. According to them, I could have diabetes, hypertension, any number of nasty subcutaneous critters, MRSA, impending death, and/or hysterical pregnancy. (Okay, those last two I made up, but aren't the rest of them just SPECIAL?) So basically I have Unexplained Total Body Itching Leading To Insanity. That's the diagnosis, I think.

I made a doctor's appointment, but she can't take me til Friday. I should live so long.

If anyone needs me, I will be sitting on my hands and trying valiantly not to scratch. (And failing. Failing MISERABLY, in fact. AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH :::scritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritch
scritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritch
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AAhhhhhh. That's better.

No....wait.....scritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritchscritch.....)