Thursday, September 25, 2003

3wk.com, having to do with Why only integrally

:::inspired by www.3wk.com, headphones, and a desk:::



Only ALMOST everyone has forgotten. There are still small pockets of Us amongst the reeking masses of Them. The trick is to be in the right place at the right time to FIND Us.



I’m deciding I’m NOT a big Flaming Lips fan, Maybe my artsy sense of IRONY!! is not properly developed to appreciate FL, but the whole Pink-Robots thing jst leaves me cold. I always was a troglodyte, you know?



So. Much as I hate to admit it, the whole house thing is scaring the crap out of me. I mean, it is but it isn't; I know that all the things I've believed for a long time about how the neighborhood is, how it will be--I know all those things still hold. It just looked -sketchy- yesterday, somehow. Like it would look to someone who had never been there before; someone without the junk-haze over their memories, maybe. All the lecturing has dimmed it, maybe--but see, here's the thing: only -i- have changed. Not the neighborhood, certainly not the house. Not the future, certainly not the past--just too much listening I've been doing, maybe. I get tired of the naysayers, and almost everyone's a naysayer. What I'd really like is to just feel like I'm GETTING somewhere, move my shit and make my stand; me and LJ--and then everybody else can go fuck themselves. It's this limbo that sucks; once I've got a place to dig in my heels, nothing will slow me DOWN much less stop me.



("White Love"--One Dove--really cool fucking mix with guitars, better than the original. god oh god oh god...not that I don't miss JP but this is almost better for NOW than it was for THEN. Like he described it--standing in the second-floor window looking out over the snow and ice, warm inside in the winter, yes....but he never lived to see the winter.)



Back to work for a while. (And this is Day 12 Without. I don't even REMEMBER how I survived an 18-month drought, back in those platonic pre-CR days--if I even get to 18 DAYS this time around, I'm afraid I'll kill someone just to distract myself.)



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