Empowerment Makes Me Giggle

This was in my e-mail box today, forwarded from a Northwestern-dwelling acquaintance who knows my love of things absurd...



NU Vagina Monologues 2004

Evanston Campus

Friday, February 13 @ 8pm

Saturday, February 14 @ 2pm & 8pm

...

Proceeds benefit the Young Women's Empowerment Project



An hour and a half before each performance, there will be a Vagina Carnival in the Purdue Room, where there will be games, activities, and all kinds of useful info. T-shirts that read "I (heart) NU VAGINAS" will be on sale for just $10. There will also be a tampon drive for the Young Women's Empowerment Project. People are asked to bring boxes of tampons that can then be donated to the girls there.



Oh, my...where to begin? For such a short e-mail, this truly provides an embarrassment of riches.



(Oops...wait. Maybe I shouldn't use the word "embarrassment" in this context--people might think I'm a prude who's afraid to talk about her cooter in public, as opposed to someone who's just not entirely convinced that public cooter-talk constitutes "empowerment".)



Well, let's start there, shall we?



Question One: How does public discourse regarding one's genitalia equate with "empowerment" ?



Answer: Um, it doesn't?



A group of important-yet-ungrasped concepts:



--Just because you choose NOT to talk about something does not mean you are INCAPABLE of talking about it.

--Just because you CAN talk about something publicly, that does not mean you necessarily SHOULD.

--The choice of whether to discuss a topic, by its very nature, includes the option NOT to discuss the topic.

--The act of choosing not to discuss something should not come with any prejudged conclusions re: the reasons why.



In other words: All of you, if you feel you must, are more than welcome to discuss the workings and experiences of your own sex organs. As for me, however, I'd rather not indulge--not because I'm a prude, not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed or oppressed by the patriarchy; just because they're MINE and (like my religious beliefs and my musical tastes) I'd rather keep them to myself. I do not judge you for your choice; I would prefer not to be judged for mine.



...oh, who am I kidding?



Fine! I admit it-- I DO judge people who gather in groups to talk about their hoo-hoo's! My god, who the HELL had THAT bright-ass idea? Do women not have ENOUGH of a reputation for talking about irrelevant shit? I'm not saying that we should be PROHIBITED from talking about them; I'm not saying we should self-censor when the topic comes up! I'm only saying this: There is no point whatsoever to gathering in a group for the sole purpose of discussing our genitalia. There's nothing 'empowering" about it--it's an exercise in group-sanctioned voyeurism, a great big grown-woman slumber party, an excuse for "mature" women to get together to talk about things that aren't considered fit for "polite" society. Well, never having (during the part of my adult life that I view as "productive", anyway) been drawn into that concern about "polite society", I don't feel the NEED for such an environment, nor do I feel a need to talk about the inner workings of my privates. (A small but glaring exception, of course, is my willingness to cite my period as the source of crankiness/exhaustion/etc when such is the case; however, that's meant as an explanation for my external condition, not an excuse to talk about my body functions.)



(More to come later. I'm not done with THIS by far.)