It's not often I open spam e-mails. Most of them are boring, for one thing; poorly-spelled, deliberately mispunctuated blocks of inanity meant to convince me of the need of enlarging the penis I don't have, or of taking out a mortgage loan even more predatory than the one I've already got.
But this one had an interesting subject line--"Take the gravity out of sex!"--and so I clicked. I was prepared to be disappointed, to find yet-another pitch for V1a*GG*ra or c!&1!S, cHeeP!!!
I was not prepared, however, for this.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: The GRAVITIZER!
Now, my girly-bits are not among the areas of my body upon which I would be willing to inflict a lack of gravity, no matter how temporary. The cleavage? Sure. The booty? Bring it on. But the thought of some magical anti-gravitational force field surrounding my stuff down there...um, no. Especially if the means by which that loss of gravity came about involved something that looks like a cheap rowing machine.
And that doesn't even begin to cover the possible objections from the GUYS. I mean, would any of you willingly put your reproductive organs in the path of a moving object? Can you imagine the possible outcome if something important got caught in the machinery?? I believe the word I'm searching for is "ouch."
Personally? Even though the drought has now reached seven months, I think I'll have to pass on this one.
Hmmmm....doesn't the term "gravitizer" seem to indicate that it's adding gravity, which just doesn't seem like a bright idea.
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I'm tempted to say that it looks like it could take a load off my mind.
ReplyDeleteCody, darlin', you DO realize, don't you, that you've just left the door wide open for one of those jokes regarding what men think with.
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard when I read, "the thought of some magical anti-gravitational force field surrounding my stuff down there...um, no." Thanks for the smile!
ReplyDeleteLooks like a Sit 'n Spin for the poonanny o_O
ReplyDelete