Urgh.

The nice thing about having one's work computer fuck completely up, so that one is completely unable to access any personal files: no work.

Of course, today was the Non-Denominational Holiday Event and Raffle (I paid $5 for tickets and won....nothin') so not much work was going to get done today anyway. Everyone milled around and ate chips.

(An aside: Could someone please explain to me the mindset which, faced with a holiday potluck, believes that "a bag of Tostitos and a jar of Old El Paso" constitutes an acceptable offering? At every company I've ever worked for, there has been at least one of these people--often more than one. And I certainly don't expect everyone to be a maniac in the kitchen and whip up a quick Chicken Tetrazzini or pan of raspberry cheesecake brownies--but seriously. Show some damn effort, you know?? If you HAVE to bring something purchased--if you're that pressed for time or talent--at least buy something GOOD. A bag of chips and a jar of salsa is like the lowest common denominator of "bring something" foods.)

Personally, I did very little milling OR eating. Our department had its own little holiday potluck yesterday (complete with two chips-and-salsa bringers) and I completely, entirely overdid it. When I went home last night (via Mom's house, where she contributed to the problem by throwing pizza at it) I was as sick as a dog, and I have not been able to eat more than a couple of bites since then. I'm not sure whether it's the result of overeating yesterday; or if something I ate disagreed with me; or if this is from the methadone, which has always been kinda rough on my stomach. I'm leaning toward the methadone.

I finally got to a dose where I'm not sick at night (not DOPEsick, anyway!) and so I've been a very good girl for most of this week. It's much easier now, which is a great relief. I'm still mad as hell about that doctor fiasco--being the wife of the clinic's owner is NOT a qualification to counsel those in crisis, nor is sanctimony and a holier-than-thou attitude. It saddens me that in this day and age, there are still people who think that way. I've never asked for anyone's pity--I'm aware I've made many poor choices in my life--but since everyone makes poor choices at some point, I would hope for at least COMPASSION, especially from an alleged member of the medical profession. And while I am certainly not going to let her lack of compassion interfere with my plans, I wonder how many people HAVE been badly affected by her perception of moral superiority, how many people have taken her words to heart. THAT'S the thing that makes me mad. I'm lucky enough to be able to see through the bullshit--but not everyone is.

I was supposed to go out for Margarita Night with the Girlies tonight, but my stomach just isn't having it; instead I'm going home, taking my shower, and nestling down among my eleven blankets and comforters to watch whatever Netflix sent me. (Netflix should really accept that a two-disc set is ONE title, and send both disks at once....it's maddening to have half a documentary at a time. I think I'm going to upgrade my account to thw two-disks-at-a-time option, which is probably the nefarious plan behind splitting up sets in the first place. But still, as a documentary geek, I adore Netflix.)

One more hour left....