The Queen of Snap Judgements Returns

It is Day 6 of my new employment, and already I have decided: There is one of my co-workers whom I do not like.

Of course, laws of nature being what they are, she's the one to whom I sit closest--but then again, if I didn't sit near her, I would have no reason to dislike her.

I would have not, for example, had to listen to her talking to her 13-year-old daughter today, totally enabling her hypochondria, which has been clearly illustrated in at least six conversations since I started working there. I would not have had to listen to her recount her daughter's half of that conversation to one of our other co-workers: "Ashleigh said 'Mommy, you have to come home now. Daddy isn't taking care of me. He only got me a shake, and he wouldn't bring the TV into my room, and he didn't even give me any Advil!!! You said it would be just like having you at home, and it ISN'T!'"

How many things do YOU see wrong with that statement?

1. How many 13-year-olds still call their mothers "Mommy"?
2. On the one occasion which I dared to bring a perceived slight by my father to the attention of my mother, I not only got ZERO sympathy, I got a double-sided yelling-at: once from Mom for daring to suggest that Dad should do the dishes, once for Dad for daring to go behind his back and complain to Mom. In fact, that's one of the few times I recall my dad getting really angry at me.
3. How many 13-year-olds can't take their own Advil? Or am I misremembering my own independence?
4. "Only got me a shake..." Child, be silent.
5. And while you're at it--QUIT WHINING! YOU'RE NOT EVEN REALLY SICK! You have a ding-dang sore throat--not bubonic frakkin' PLAGUE!

THEN, as if that weren't teeth-gnashingly annoying enough: Co-Worker #2, in response to Mommy's statement that "I don't think she'll go to school tomorrow, either," suggests the following: "Well, (Mommy), you could...make her go to school....." (Co-Worker #2 is also a parent, of a slightly younger child--thus his opinion is more valid than mine would be.)

"Mommy"'s reply? "Well, you know, you don't want to PUSH them--then you have to worry about a secondary infection, you know."

I had to get up and walk to the bathroom at that point, because...When I was a kid, the rule was: unless you're running a fever of 99.6 or greater, or actively barfing more than once every 4 hours, you were GOING to school. End of discussion. And even if you DID stay home, no special treatment accorded to you unless your fever broke 101 degrees. THEN you'd get the popsicles, the milkshakes, the TV-in-the-room (the big black-and-white on a cart, the one we kept in the kitchen.) And when your fever dropped: back to school with you, and no fooling around.

Here's the thing: My parents were LENIENT for their day. There were relatives who considered me a "spoiled only child". What those relatives, or for that matter, my mother, would think of this kind of kid-coddling...

Yes, I realize I sound like a curmudgeon. Yes, I realize I have no children, and am thus without authority to comment on anyone else's child-rearing. But what I do have: I have eyes, and I have a background in teaching, and I can vouch for what this kind of treatment does for/to a kid. This kid is going to turn out like her mother: a raging hypochondriac, whom everyone asks every morning, solicitously, about the state of her indigestion. I mean, yes: people have physical complaints, and not all of them can be ignored or kept private. But fully half of "Mommy"'s conversation is about her health woes, and at least half of the rest is about "Ashleigh"'s issues.

Of course, in an effort to be the Get-Along-With-Everyone Kid, which I have resolved to be in this job, I have to keep my mouth shut, no matter how much I want to rant. So once again I say: thank heavens for the Intarwebz, on which I and everyone else can rant to our hearts' content.

(And occasionally, we even get Zorned for it, which is always a pleasant surprise.)