Open Letter

Dear Mr. Winter:

Recently our attention has been brought to several of your more disturbing habits. Your repeated bouts of precipitation, for example, coupled with your recent pattern of alternating conditions between sub-zero cold with dangerous wind chills, and sunny, seasonally-inappropriate temperatures, have left your fellow Chicagoans with potholes, wet feet, salt-stained clothing, rusting vehicles, and evil tempers. Although we are aware that, technically, you have thirty-seven days remaining on your contract, please recall that the contract in question was never signed by any official representative of the city, and is thus rendered null and void.

Mr. Winter, your services are no longer required.

Sincerely,
Gladys J. Cortez,
member, city of Chicago.