A freaky Friday accident left Lindsay Lohan in stitches.
The Mean Girls star was rushed to a London hospital last week after she sliced her leg open while breakfasting at the home of Bryan Adams, according to published reports.
Lohan had reportedly just stepped out of the shower Friday afternoon, when she lost her grip on a teacup, which smashed to the ground. A shard of the broken cup connected with the actress' shin, leaving a gash that required 10 stitches to close.
"She and her friends were preparing breakfast, with eggs and everything, and Lindsay was going up the stairs, carrying a ceramic teacup," Lohan's mother, Dina, told Star magazine. "She had just come out of the shower so she was still wet and had some lotion on, and she completely flipped on the stairs since it was slippery."
According to Lohan's rep, the actress is doing fine and her work schedule will not be affected.
Okay. First of all: What is Lindsay Lohan doing eating breakfast at Bryan Adams' house? Isn't he like, 50?? And she's walking around first thing in the morning all wet and lotion-y?? Does this make anyone besides me go "eeeeewwwwwww"?
Secondly: Go into your kitchen and drop a teacup. I would imagine that you'd have a very hard time finding a piece that could leave a gash that would require TEN stitches. Two or three, tops. And you'd probably have to pick it up, hold it firmly, and gouge it into your leg to make it happen. I have a hard time imagining a teacup falling to the floor with enough force to shatter, causing a chunk to bounce up and leave a gaping slash in someone's shin. The physics just don't work out.
Third: "...and she completely flipped on the stairs since it was slippery." Since what was slippery?? Ma Lohan, watch your pronouns, please.
Fourth:She "completely flipped" on the stairs? And a teacup gash is the worst injury that came of it? Does La Lindsay have a background in gymnastics or something??? I mean, Kerri Strug could stick the landing on one foot, but I wouldn't have figured Lindsay for being Olympic-caliber...
Fifth: "...preparing breakfast, with eggs and everything..." Okay, this phrase just made me giggle. Sounds like someone's taken to heart Granddad's admonition that "it's just not breakfast without eggs".
Seriously, though, this so-called "explanation" makes about as much sense as Dubya's infamous "I choked on a pretzel." Any alternate stories will be welcomed in comments....
I think it's pretty obvious that this is some Satanic, lotion-covered (yeah, that also grossed me out) ritual gone wrong.
ReplyDeleteI just don't get why they are going so far as to make up some ridiculous by-the-seat-of-their-pants story when she probably did it doing something very simple. Illegal, maybe, but simple.
The first thing I went, "huh?" about was also that she was at Bryan Adams' house. WTF? Anyway, can you say, "cutter"?
ReplyDeletePoor Linds. She's gone from luscious underage goddess to... something... not... too... good. I have no idea what happened, nor am I sure I want to, nor am I sure I have the right to, but I'm pretty darn sure it has nothing to do with lotion and a teacup.
ReplyDeleteBTW, on an unrelated note, am I the only one who's feeling just a little bit sorry for poor James Frey who's being strung up to a degree far outstripping his crime, in my opinion. I'm proud of Oprah for coming forward, but did she have to put him before 300 boo-ing audience members for 90 minutes to do so? My maternal instinct is flaring up.
Lindsy Lohan all wet and lotion-y, sounds like good clean fun to me, but then again, the whole Bryan Adams thing kind of kills a good fantasy. Oh well
ReplyDeleteI reckon LL was snooping around in Bryan Adams' home when she came close to finding his stash of highly secret photos of him & Princess Di getting it on. Obviously she set off the trap which was supposed to sever the head of any potential snoopers. Fortunately for the young missy she had just "completely flipped" meaning her leg got a nasty slicing instead of her neck.
ReplyDeleteOpen & shut case.
Totally agree with the implausibility!
ReplyDeleteMy theory: That's what she gets for fashioning a crack pipe out of a broken beer bottle. She "flipped" on the stairs, held onto the pipe for dear life and managed to gash her leg as she tried to break her fall without breaking the pipe.
For the "flip" I give her a 3.3
;)
Just to clear up one of your points of disbelief. My first wife cut her leg in an almost identical way. Ceramic can be deadly. As for what Lindsay was doing at the 50 year old Bryan Adams place? I would have to say thats their business.
ReplyDeleteI agree, that gave me a giggle. And did you notice her mom said "friends"?
ReplyDeleteWhat, Hilalry Duff and Raven there as well? How many underagers does BA need for his entertainment.
*shakes head*
Her mom is delightfulyl dense.
Excellent article Gladys. Keep me up on the celeb sleeze, good girl.
*hugs*
So she got out of the shower, conveniently located in the kitchen so she can scramble eggs while lathering up, with her teacup in hand and needed to run upstairs, all lotion-y, for a towel.
ReplyDeleteIt makes perfect sense to me.
You know what else I just noticed, though? She was allegedly "breakfasting" when this happened, right? But then in the next line it says "...Friday AFTERNOON". So why were they eating breakfast in the afternoon??? See, something kinky is happening here, I just KNOW it.
ReplyDelete