STFU, Tim!

First things first:

People, I am TIRED of cardboard.

If I nevereverever see another box again, it will be entirely too soon.

'Nuff of that, though.

So tonight, Tim calls me. He's clearly been drinking; he's in that voluble state he gets into after a few beers. We chat pleasantly for a while, and then the conversation gets down to Squeaky, and how he's "looking out" for her. ("Controlling" would be a better word, if you ask me; nobody did, though, so: whatevva.)

And then he gets down to talking about ME; how he just wanted to remind me how he said I shouldn't "pretend" to be Squeaky's friend if I didn't really mean it. And how the REASON he said that was, over the three years he was homeless, how he felt like I wasn't there for him in the way I seemed to want to THINK I was.

In other words, this colossal prick was accusing me of being insincere and not doing enough for him when he was homeless.

Does anyone but me remember that I cared for his three cats for EIGHTEEN MONTHS???!!!??? (He pretty much holds me responsible for the fact that two of his cats did not survive--because I told him he had to take care of them, because I told him that they needed to stay somewhere else and HE chose to take them somewhere where they were not safe. Of course, the only reason I said this was because he was making NO effort--NONE--to provide for these cats AT ALL--not a bag of food, not a bag of litter, nothing. Certainly not a dime did I ever see. And speaking of "insincere"--all those times he would promise to "help me out" with the cats' needs...Yeah. Whatever. But I didn't do ENOUGH for him, because I wasn't willing to do everything without any compensation.) Apparently, I was also supposed to INSIST that he come to stay with me and LJ; even though I offered repeatedly, I was apparently not "sincere" enough. And because I got tired of listening to his litany of excuses and woes and "reasons" he couldn't keep a job, and started screening my calls and not answering or calling him back every time he called, apparently that makes me a bad person. (I didn't completely ignore him--I would say I answered maybe a third of the calls. And could we, just for a moment, remember that during that time I was battling heroin addiction and VERY severe depression??? But I didn't do enough for HIM. Nevermind that I could barely take care of mySELF--apparently I was supposed to knock myself out for HIM.)

And even if all those things are true--even if I am completely, 100% delusional about my own motives and actions--that does not obliterate the following fact:

HE LIVED IN MY HOUSE, RENT-FREE, FOR A YEAR. All his cigarettes, all his beer, all his food, were purchased by me. Favors were done for him with no argument, no request for compensation, NOTHING. I asked, occasionally, when he was going to be able to live up to the agreement he made--to pay a certain amount of rent per month--but at no time did I nag, bitch, or complain that he was not even making an EFFORT to find a job.

Oh: and--HIS GIRLFRIEND LIVED IN MY HOUSE, RENT-FREE, FOR TWO MONTHS. At least SHE bought food, occasionally--but that doesn't make up for the fact that she also drove me BAT SHIT CRAZY, nor that she was there AGAINST MY WILL. (She also, apparently, reported back to Tim every encouraging word I said to her about not allowing him to run her life, talk down to her, or treat her like shit. I can't hold it against her--some women don't know HOW to do anything other than be abused--but it still pisses me off. Try to help someone, and see what it gets you.)

Pardon my overzealous capitalization; I need to calm down. But: SERIOUSLY.

I was very good; I just let it slide off my back. I just told him I had to go eat my dinner, and I'd talk to him soon--probably when I DRIVE UP TO THE NORTH SIDE TO DROP OFF HIS CAT, which I am feeding and caring for.

God. I am so, so, so, SO SO SO done with being helpful. People just aren't worth it.