Gladys C., Countercultural Attache

So, as I mentioned yesterday, we have some anti-Wiccan-ness going around the office.



And I swear, I was going to just drop the whole thing. But this morning Stella brought it up again, and finally I just couldn't take it anymore. She said something about "Wiccans or witches or whatever she is that wears all that black nail polish and pink hair..." and I finally couldn't keep my mouth shut.



"You know, it sounds like you're describing two different things. There's Wiccans, and then there's Goths--they're the ones with the black clothes and the music."



"What's the difference?" Stella asked. "Every time her mother mentions 'Wiccan', somewhere later in the same sentence she mentions 'Goth'. So aren't they the same?"



There were so many things wrong here that I wasn't even sure where to begin. But one thing is for sure: no WONDER Tracy has issues. If she's doing something that is upsetting her mother, and her mother doesn't even take the time to get her terminology straight before she ties her ass into a knot about it--yeah, obviously ol' Moms is really connected to her daughter's life, you know?



With that in mind, I began my first Counterculture 101 class.



"Wicca is a belief system or a religion. Goth is a lifestyle. Wicca has more to do with what you believe, and Goth has more to do with how you present yourself. Wiccans--REAL Wiccans, which is a necessary qualifier because so many people CLAIM to be Wiccan without having the slightest grasp of what Wicca supposedly really is--REAL Wiccans have a more positive outlook on life. Goths are more known for their despair, their depression, their unhappy outlook. It's very rare to find a true Wiccan who is also a Goth. They may dress alike, sorta, but their outlooks just don't mesh.



"Now, there are people who CLAIM to be Wiccans, but they're really what are more commonly perceived when you say somebody is a 'witch'. They're kinda the 'bad witch' vs. the Wiccan 'good witch', if you want to see it that way. They're more likely to have a darker outlook that would mesh better with Goth-ness."



"So do Wiccans believe in God?" Stella asked.



"They believe in a god--actually, goddess--but not 'THE' God."



She seemed slightly comforted by the fact that at least they believed in SOMETHING. "So they don't worship Satan or anything like that."



"No, not Wiccans. Wiccans are more into the earth-based beliefs--again, REAL Wiccans." I digressed here to tell her about the Trib article with the "parking-space Wiccan", and how it made Pepsi come out my nose. "Now, the so-called 'witches'--there are some of THEM who claim to worship Satan, yeah...not all, but some."



"Well," she said. "This is what I'm hearing...." And she went on to tell me the story: apparently this girl is involved with a boy who is a Goth, whose parents are ALSO Goths, and whose parents apparently spend all their time hanging out with their son and this girl.



Now, call it Goth, call it Wiccan, call it a commune, or call it Bob--something there just ain't right, if you ask me. Adults are adults; kids are kids. And at 15, kids should be making their break from adults. Something is DEFINITELY fishy about this whole situation--Wicca, Goth, and Marilyn Manson sound like the least of the problems in this picture.



The mom says the girl refuses to spend any time with anyone other than this family and the few other kids the boy's parents have sorta gathered this way. Tracy says they're "the only ones who accept her and understand her completely." Apparently there are two girls in this group who made suicide attempts, and apparently the parents of this boy were justifying the attempts--around the kids!--with the whole "it's a cold, cruel world, and you gotta do what you gotta do" theory. Meanwhile, Tracy is defending the Columbine killers in arguments, saying that she understands why they would do what they did; her grades are falling, and she says she doesn't care about anything else, even the things she used to enjoy.



Now, call me crazy, but does anyone else here think it sounds like maybe Tracy is depressed, and that all this darkness and despair is a symptom? But somehow everyone's blaming the depression on the people she's hanging around with, rather than considering that she's looking for acceptance and these are the people she's found--people who seem to accept her even though she isn't all cheery and perky?



And here's why that worries me. A lot of times, sketchy adults latch onto kids who ARE depressed, who are dealing with things too big for them to handle--kids who need someone to accept them--and with the acceptance comes an introduction to whatever skeevy stuff the adults are into. I'm wondering if that's what's going on here.



It sounds to me like the parents are either a) into something sketchy themselves--some weird coven-type fantasy where they're "recruiting" kids, for lack of a better term; or b) extremely immature themselves, and trying to be "cool" parents by manifesting the same attitudes they see their son manifesting. Or c)--and c) is what scares me for Tracy's sake--something even worse. Either way, as I said: something doesn't sound right.



I did mention to Stella, though, that the "telephone" effect may be in play here: Stella is getting her information from the mom, who's getting it second- or third-hand herself. So there may be other distortions here as well.



I don't even know this family. I just couldn't listen to the distortions anymore. People are so facile with their terminology, and it really fucks up any hope of tolerance when you're conflating the Earth Goddess with the so-called "Trenchcoat Mafia" (another Columbine myth, incidentally). If you're going to judge people, at least get a handle on what it is you're judging. For fuck's sake, that's why there's Google! Two million search results, and though you're claiming your kid is into this, you can't even be bothered to check a couple of them out?



As for Tracy...I'm starting to agree with Stella that there could be cause to worry here. Not that their worry will likely do any good, since it's entirely misdirected...the adults in her life seem to be worrying about the symptoms rather than the disease, which sounds less like "fringe beliefs" and more like "a textbook case of depression".



But at least I think I acquitted the Wiccans.