Well, though I'm not honestly certain quite what got me here, I am in a mood most exceedingly foul. And so--leaving the pot roast in the oven on "auto-shutoff"--I am going to bed now.
I woke up this morning not wanting to go to work. I can't imagine tomorrow being too much different.
Something's gotta give, you know? I can't keep going this same way for too much longer before I just say "screw it" and stop getting out of bed at all.
Ah yes, the point where showering in the morning is an accomplishment. I know that one well. It's terrifying in its bleakness.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're not doing very well, Gladys. I wish I could offer the platitude that would make it all better but things generally aren't that easy. So let's leave it at: keep getting out of bed because bedsores are icky and you have a devout legion of readers who would shrivel up into tiny little husks if you didn't keep writing.
So there.
Well, although I never knew a "legion" had seven people in it, thanks for the kind words!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking there are some things in my life that are requiring attention, if not outright change. The guy issue is among them--I won't even torture anyone by going down that road again, but I had a dream last night which made things pretty damn clear to me. As it stands right now, this is not a sustainable situation for me, and I'm going to have to do something about it. He's not doing anything WRONG; but his idea of love and mine just aren't the same. And there's something in me that really wishes I could wrap my brain around his way of looking at it--because I know his heart's in the right place and he's honestly TRYING to do what he thinks is right.
Really, I'm just tired of everyone having sex but me. There's this unfortunate dynamic in our relationship--he's one of those take-it-or-leave-it, won't- instigate-it-but-wouldn't-stop-me-if-I-did guys, and I'm laboring under the baggage of my last relationship, where I wasn't allowed to even mention it, and where I was made to feel like something was wrong with me if I tried to bring it up. In my more-lucid moments, I recognize: this is MY problem, not his. The worst that can be said of him is that he has a moderately-low libido, which wasn't a crime last time I checked. But along with the leftover emotional wreckage of CR, and the usual October blues, I'm left in a really unpleasant place.
On the plus side, however, I just got to be really, really snarky at someone who deserved it--and I was in the right! And she really, REALLY deserved it. So my mood has improved slightly.
Yes, Gladys, I can surely sympathize!!! And look, we are both "lonely" today on our unkymoods. Ugh!
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