The following is a paraphrase from my dear significant other, upon being informed that if I do in fact get the job I'm interviewing for next week, the division of labor around Chez Gladys is going to have to shift precipitously:
Grocery shopping, cleaning, etc, is "female work".
If I thought for a moment that there was an iota of actual THOUGHT behind this allegation, I would have kicked LJ to the curb long ago (and thrown his ass out of the bed the minute the last word of the previous sentence was out of his mouth!), but I'm fairly sure it's just a relic from his upbringing. I'm dating a CONSERVATIVE, y'all. Didn't realize it til a few days ago, but that's what it is and there's no getting around it. Also? Not really bright, is LJ. I admit it.
Still, I'm fairly good at making people think about things they never thought about before...and...Okay, look. I know. I bitch about his neglect and everything but here's the deal: Neo-Neanderthal gender-role perceptions aside, he's a good guy. I appreciate a lot of things about him; he does his level best to make sure I'm safe and he has a very strong sense of honor, which I only question because he's male and my recent history with males hasn't been flooded with the "honorable" archetype. He's easy to get along with, doesn't complain, doesn't bicker, and he's appreciative, in his way, of the things I do for him.
But there's a biiiiiiiig honkin' hole in his gender logic, to wit:
IF "grocery shopping/cleaning/housekeeping" = "female work"
AND there exist two kinds of work, namely "female" and "male" work,
THEN "male work"= "things that are not grocery shopping/cleaning/housekeeping"
Like building things. Or home repair. Or working outside the house to support its upkeep.
...Oh. Wait. I do those things.
So....what's "male work" then?
Maybe "male work"= "filling the cooler in the back of the truck with ice and beer and finding places to hang out with the guys where the cops won't hassle you for selling weed".
If that's the case? I am SO installing a penis this weekend.
Otherwise, a conversation will be happening on gender equity, fair contributions, the "you eat here too" principle, and the wisdom of not being an asshelmet.
Unless LJ comes up off of about $160 to get the cable and Internet turned back on, I will be blogging only at work for a while.
*sigh* I haven't been able to read for a week because I was out of town until Thursday and busy at work until just now. What I was actually excited to tell you is that when Husband and I were on our way to Charlotte last Friday to pick my sister up from the airport, we passed Kasey Kahne's hauler on the interstate. His was the only one we saw (surprisingly). But I just read your last post and Gladys, normally I promise not to comment about LJ things. You don't know me, I read your blog everyday but am normally quiet so I really figured it wasn't my place to say. Maybe it still isn't. But man! That pissed me off! And yeah...you do bitch about him and I do understand that this is a place to get all of this off of your chest and we are more than happy to listen, obviously. But sometimes when you come back and try to defend him and rectify his actions it just seems to me that you're trying more to convince yourself. I've been reading your blog for a long time and I do want you to be happy. But all I can see about your current situation is that you have very few things that do make you happy. I hope that changes soon.
ReplyDeleteKasey! :::squeeeeee!!!:::::
ReplyDelete(Sorry...that's a reflex.)
You're probably right; I am famous for the whole "convincing myself" thing. Actually I have a whole 'nother post in the offing about that--I re-read some of my old journals last night, and...yeah, I'm good at just putting my head down and charging through other people's mistreatment of me, mainly because the alternatives don't come easily. "Standing up for myself" in my world generally means "getting out of the way and doing whatever I have to in order to avoid drama/trouble/yelling/conflict". There's a whole bunch of reasons behind that--family stuff, mostly--but that doesn't mean it doesn't need to change.
I'm not as unhappy as I appear, I don't think. I have a lot of small joys and a very few gigantic crushing annoyances, and sometimes it seems like the annoyances outweigh everything else, but I don't think that's necessarily the case. I see myself as a fundamentally happy person.
My tolerance for all the things I shouldn't tolerate, I guess, probably has something to do with my past; by comparison, right now seems easy when you look at some of what's come before. I probably ought to demand more of my life, but...okay, I'm about to go down a long dark road here, and right now I'm at work and up in the storage area there are laptops that need to be unpacked and tagged. Long dark roads come later, maybe.
I do appreciate your comment and your concern. Don't worry about "not your place"--I'm the one putting all this garbage out on the virtual curb, so you can say anything you want about it.
And next time you drive past Kasey's hauler, give him my phone number. :)
Well I, unlike the noble Andrea, have already said my piece on LJ. Several times. And I don't even know you!
ReplyDeleteMy friend said to me a couple months back that she enjoys my blog because it's me but yet it's really not me. Being so selective about what you present the world - and how you present it, and how often you present it - does have a tendancy to present a false truth. So I am one of the least qualified people to say ANYTHING about your life.
Except this:
You are an amazing, intelligent, talented, strong woman who deserves the absolute best from life. Only you can decide what that is, and only you can make sure it comes to you. Be bold.
i'm probably not much brighter than lj, so please don't throw me to said curve, but after reading this i think a woman's work is to write funny things that make me laugh while i drink my riesling.
ReplyDeletekeep up the good work!
So, by his logic, female work = shit work = ANY work?
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say is...AFTERNOON DELIGHT! ;)
Yeah, he should, like, at least lift something heavy. I know. Bite him in the butt-!
This doesn't always help, but at least I'm amused.
Let LJ know that you have it from a very reliable source that "men's work" consists, at a minimum, of doing laundry and making you breakfast. These were my dad's jobs around the house. He probably had more before there were 2 children to start doing the housecleaning, etc.
ReplyDelete