I hereby leave the Brit to his girlfriend.
It's strange. We get along so well, and he's so much fun to talk to and have I mentioned that he's HOT? and the only problem comes when I look at two very simple structures:
Brit<----------->his girlfriend (pretty and political and perfect for him)
Me (intelligent and strange and unique and okay-so-I'm-not-pretty, but loyal and capable and subversive in a different kind of way)<------------>LJ
So the unevenness is only on one side here. His closed system seems to suit him; mine....not so much. And the problem is not so much that I don't recognize that; the problem is that somewhere on my side of the equation is the thing that tells me I'm not going to find what I'm actually looking for.
Which makes sense, because what I'm looking for pretty much doesn't exist anymore. But it doesn't make it easier when I see something that seems like it might be close. And I'm tired of wanting things I can't have.
See, you need to perfect the art of the Egoless Crush.
ReplyDeleteI coined the term years back to describe my friends and my habit of developing silly crushes on boys at work in order to pass the day. An Egoless Crush is one in which the sole purpose is to have that "eeeeeeeee!" feeling every time the object of your affection walks by, thereby making you happier/excited to be going to work/less bored/etc. The very worst possible scenario would be if the object of your affection were to return the emotions, because then it would get complicated and serious. An Egoless Crush remains, at all times, all about the "eeeeeeeeee!". As a result, it matters not a whit what they think of you - hence the "Egoless."
Sounds like your Brit could be a perfect Egoless Crush for you until you RUN RUN run the hell away from your crappyass job!
Just thinkin'...
yikes.
ReplyDeleteWell, what are you looking for? How are you sure it doesn't exist?
ReplyDeleteAnd, damn, I sure could have used this idea of the Egoless crush about 10 years ago!
Ka...See, I've got a bit of an obstacle there, what with the "egoless" and all. Because honestly? I am ruled by my internal fifteen-year-old, who is almost entirely composed of imploding ego molecules.
ReplyDeleteSpinsterwitch...The problem with what I am looking for is that it is remarkably similar in substance to what I once had. And in the meantime, ten years have passed and the culture has changed and I've gotten older, and there are damn few 35-year-old Angry Young Men left. And all of them--witness the Brit--have girlfriends. Dammit.
Radmila: Yep.