Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Idol

I'm glad Bo didn't win.

See, every year they have a coronation song written for whoever will be the new American Idol. And this year's song was a complete abomination. It was called "Inside Your Heaven" and it is the most ghastly thing ever written, ever, by anyone. And yes, I am counting "MacArthur Park" in that evaluation. Puppies and rainbows and unintentional porno all up out the joint. The lovely folks in the forums at TWOP are having just WAY too much fun creating indecent variations on the title alone. I wish I had the lyrics--it's a trainwreck of epic proportions.

Yeah, Carrie can have it. Good luck with that.

Meanwhile, Bo will go on to greater things, I hope. Like calling me. Or letting me bake him some cookies.

(And by "bake him some cookies" I mean "screw him til he passes out from sheer exhaustion".)

What????!!!???

6 comments:

  1. LOL.. I didn't think the song was THAT bad.. maybe I should check out the message boards though!

    I liked them both.. and am quite sure both will be able to do just fine in the coming years.

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  2. "Inside Your Heaven" Hmmmm...

    That reminds me of the song sung by the "boy band" in the movie Josie and the Pussycats. It was called "Back-door Lover" and it was sung with such beautifully ironic sincerity. I almost peed my pants during that scene.

    Well, good for Bo because we all know that AI winners are immediately doomed to obscurity and bad made-for-TV movies.

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  3. I wish I'd read this before turning down the home made cookies offered to me today!

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  4. Flash: well, there goes my four-hour streak of NOT making snorty-noises at work. :)

    Spinsterwitch...that sounds like a classic of modern music. There was a poster in the TWOP forums who did an exegesis of "Pink Cadillac"--who knew that was yet ANOTHER vagina song? Certainly not me...

    Janine...I didn't hate Carrie, esp. when she was singing with Rascal Flatts last night...she just looked so frickin' HAPPY that it was impossible to hate her. And Bo will kick ass regardless. But holy mother, that song...I REALLY need to get the lyrics, just to expound upon the syntactic and metaphorical destruction it wreaks upon the poor, innocent English language that never hurt anyone.

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  5. Ah, here's to the internet:

    I've been down
    Now I'm blessed
    I felt a revelation comin' around
    I guess it's right
    It's so amazing
    Everytime I see you, I'm alive
    You're all I've got
    You lift me up
    The sun and the moonlight
    All my dreams are in your eyes

    I wanna be inside your heaven
    Take me to the place you cry from
    Where the storm blows you away
    I wanna be the one to hold you
    Every bit of air you're breathing in
    A soothing wind
    I wanna be inside your heaven

    When minutes turn to days and years
    If mountains form I'll still be here
    Holding you until the day I die

    I wanna be inside your heaven
    Take me to the place you cry from
    Where the storm blows you away
    I wanna be inside your heaven
    Take me to the place you cry from
    Where the storm blows you away
    I wanna be the one to hold you
    Every bit of air you're breathing in
    A soothing wind
    I wanna be inside your heaven

    Oh yes I do
    I wanna be inside your heaven

    ***

    And now if you will all excuse me while I go take my insulin shot. My god that's sickly.

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  6. Ewww! What the hell were they thinking?!

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