Thursday, September 23, 2004

DAMN You, UPN!!!

Last night, the new season of _America's Next Top Model_ started. I love that show--but that's not what I'm all worked up about.



Dear, dear UPN.



Let me explain something to you--and I believe I will be speaking for many, many impressionable females.



This new show, _Kevin Hill_, which you are so-relentlessly promoting?



It's a bad thing, guys.



The one thing that will be more irresistible than Taye Diggs--and let me tell you, as far as I'm concerned, that's PRET-ty GOD-damn irresistible--will be Taye Diggs with a cute little baby.



Christ, people. Why don't you write a basket of kittens into the story line, so he can be cute with THOSE?? Or make them live on a farm with cuddly baby ducklings??? Maybe he could be a flowers-and-candy salesman, while we're at it. Or a masseuse.



:::making the Homer-Simpson gargle-of-ecstasy noise::::



Mmmmm.....masseuse....



:::shakes it off:::



Have you no SHAME, UPN? Have you no MERCY???????



If anyone needs me, I'll have my face pressed against the TV screen--drooling.

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